Fatherhood: Two Fathers. One son.




Two Fathers. One Son.



Fatherhood

The media will never tell you about such a story nor will producers of reality television depict such a thing. Most people think I'm lying when I tell them but the truth of the matter is we are two fathers raising one son. We get along. We have a great relationship. We are not petty young fathers…never have been and never will be. See, whats funny is, most people don't think this exist. 

I am referring to Billy Collins Jr. A standup guy. A great father. A great person and a great man. He has been that way since I met him…at a house party at Michigan State. No…he was not in the party act'n a fool, he was chill, the way he always is. When two cool guys are in a space together, they usually say "what up" and genuinely acknowledge each other and keep it moving. That's what we did. I had no idea the same guy had a son. Nor did I know who the mother of his child was. Small world I know.

Every two weeks we meet in Lansing. I call it the "drop off." This routine has been in place for years. Billy travels from Jackson, often times accompanied by his wife and my wife and I come from Grand Rapids. We collectively figured that Lansing (MSU) was the "midpoint" for the both of us. Now that Anthony "Ant" Collins is in high school (9th grade) and playing sports, sometimes we are unable to meet because of games, weather or other things that come up. But more often than not, bi-weekly we are headed down I-96. 

Like me, Billy loves sports. He is a die hard Lions fan. Any team that the State of Michigan represents is deemed as Billy favorite team. I just love sports. Sports serves as a unifier. If nothing else it gives us something in common we share not only with each other but with Ant. Well spoken and well rounded, I am certain that we could converse on multiple things outside of sports and still have the same genuine relationship. Thats just the type of guy Billy is. 

Distance has never served as an excuse for Billy. He tries to make as many games as possible. A former athlete himself, he prides himself on being present. I commend him for his effort. We all know some dads that live right in town with their child and has never attended a game or school event. During sporting events, the white parents and Ant classmates often look confused. Scared to ask, they just stare and whisper. We nod or give a slight wave and make our way to our seats. We don't blame them. They have never seen such a thing. TV has only shown them "Baby Momma Drama" and "Dysfunctional African Americans." 

I wrote this because I wanted to acknowledge a father and an even greater man. Billy has been a blessing in my life. The father figure he has been to Ant. The way he has raised him and the things he has imparted in him says a lot about Billy, his character and the way he was raised. I often struggle with fully knowing how difficult it must be to be away from your son. I even struggle with not taking away moments that a father-and-son should experience together. However, I am mindful and I know the importance of a boy, a child experiencing things with his father first. I respect it. I honor that. I'm in no competition nor do I look to hold bragging rights for any success, first time experiences or anything else. A dad, a father, a man such as Billy deserves to experience all the things a father-and-son should experience. Any man as committed as Billy to his role as a father deserves to have all "first time experiences" with his "first born." 

I wrote this to let you know how much I appreciate you.

God bless

Do you know of other step-parents who get along? I'd love to hear about it. Leave a comment below.

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