Chris Sain Jr. 24, Changed the Face of Therapy
Statistics said I'd be dead or in jail by 25. The data suggested that as a first generation college student, I didn't have the grit, the mental toughness and educational capacity to persist and earn a degree and that I was not "college material." The constant message I received from society and the media was that black men are failures. We are only good at going to prison.
Unfortunately, I didn't get the memo. Institutions of Higher Learning had not yet met me. Who was I? I was a young man determined to defy the odds. I was a young man that was Book Smart, Street Smart and had Common Sense and knew that institutions of Higher Learning had never seen an individual who possessed all three of these attributes and characteristics. I was a Urban Young Professional, wise beyond my years that blew the roof off of Michigan State University, Saginaw Valley State University and Wayne State University.
At the age of 24, I graduated top of my class with a Masters degree (MSW) in Clinical Social Work and changed the face of therapy.
~ Short Story ~
Looking back, it was early on in my life when I first realized I had a gift. As a kid, in elementary school, I remember my classmates, males and females alike constantly asking for advice or what I now know as solutions to their problems. Why do people ask me questions? Why do people value my opinion? Why does what I think matter? During recess, in between games of football or basketball, my peers would always shoot a question or two at me. My peers, my classmates, for reasons unknown, would always ask my opinion, on things they were going through. Anything from relationships to what to wear to school the next day was fair game...Today I am the brother of hundreds of women and hundreds of men because of the Pro Bono sessions I had during recess.
Tip: Good counsel will cause females to befriend you and turn you into family.
Ex. "That's my brother, I talk to him about everything."
Gifted vs. Talent, Skills & Abilities
At the time, I thought the questions would stop after elementary school. Boy was I wrong. In fact, the questions continued. They became more frequent throughout middle school, high school and college. People I barely knew, some I didn't know period, all of a sudden brought their questions, their thoughts and their concerns to me. I didn't think much of it. I was just happy to help.
Because of my youth, "people" in the profession when they meet me, like to start off there introduction of self with "My name is so-in-so, I have twenty-five years of experience" or "My name is so-in-so, I've been doing this for thirty-five years." - Round of Applause - For me, that's the first sign of a skills deficit. I call it "overcompensating." I respectfully but jokingly and sarcastically reply, "My name is Chris Sain and I've lived the experience for twenty-five years." That reply usually shuts the down the room...every time. "People" tend to avoid the "Courageous Conversations" with the people that had to actually be "courageous" to get to where they are. Disclaimer: Young Professionals and Up and coming clinicians, please don't try this at home folks. See, the "Gifted" knows that what's understood, does not have to be said. At least not right away. The "Gifted" understands and knows that the people we serve don't care how much we know (or about years of experience) until they know how much we care.
Early on in my professional journey as a Clinical Therapist, one of my professors who was and still is a leader in the field, said to me after shadowing me during my internship, I know people with 25 plus years of experience that can't do what you can do. Our credentials might read the same but we are not the same. You are different, you're special, you are gifted at this. I was 21 at the time. Her words served as revelation for what I felt and kinda knew based off results I had with the most difficult of clients. What my professor didn't know was that I had been honing my skills since 8 years old during recess.
If you would like me to share my story with you, your students or with your staff, please contact me at chrissainjr@gmail.com
For more information about me and what I am doing in my local community and throughout the country click here. To sign-up for my Newsletter click here. Download my mobile app here.
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